To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
