I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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