If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
