Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
