Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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