please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
