Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
