Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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