Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
