it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
