margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
