I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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