college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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