we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Randomize
