remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
