Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
