The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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