you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
the day after is always just damage control
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
