I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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