i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
