1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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