also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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