Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
