did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
