This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
