We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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