Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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