my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
