Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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