Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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