he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
