I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
