marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
