Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
