What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
