I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
