did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
party gras won. party gras always wins.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
