We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
