Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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