just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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