I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
