she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
