I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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