Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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