so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
