Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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