I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
