That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
