I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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