i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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